Aspects of life

Back Pain Speaks to “Self” through a Family Constellation.

Back Pain Speaks to “Self” through a Family Constellation.

Ancestral consciousness can assist our body to represent the conflicts, which we need in order to fulfil our soul’s purpose.

 

This is the story of an amazing young man, with a wonderful set of skills and accomplishments, with great possibilities to succeed in life and yet contained through a huge back pain since the age of 14.

What is his back trying to tell him?

We sit in a devoted group who is ready to delve deep into the constellation work in order to bring clarity to personal processes and through these into the world.

  • Getting to know the current issue
  • Setting up the representatives
  • The unfolding of the process
  • The climax of the constellation

 

Getting to know the current issue

You start the constellation with an interview, the case giver is invited to speak from the “I” perspective, to share the current situation and to describe the different stakeholders. It is good to invite the case giver to share his intention with regard to the outcome of the constellation. How does he want to be after this session?

Our case giver has a back problem, which started at the age of 14. At this age his parents divorced after having been living apart for several years. The divorce inflicted important financial problems on his mother. The case giver feels he has to protect his mother and behave perfectly.

Recently his back pain increased and now is also radiating towards his shoulders, blocking his ability to live his life to its fullest potential.

His intention is to understand how his back is serving him.

 

Setting up the representatives.

Images_18The facilitator proposes to set up the primary family system: the mother, the father and the self. She intuitively suggests to also represent the grandmother on the father’s side.

The first view of the positioning shows that there is no contact between self and his father and grandmother

The mother is in search of something that seems to be on the ground and is wondering why nobody takes note of this. A pillow is brought in to represent this so-called “secret”.

The grandmother hides something. A representative is chosen to be a body, which is lying on the floor, probably someone who died.

 

The unfolding of the process

It becomes quickly obvious that there is a secret that the mother is obliged to hold in order to protect her son. This secret does not belong to the mother it belongs to the father.

This secret however cannot return to the father. The only journey the secret can take is through the son.

It takes a while for the self to be able to receive the secret from his mother. It is very painful without knowing what it is he receives. Huge terror is created in self. The back pain in self increases.

Self reaches out to his father to help him.

 

The climax of the constellation

Images_19Something happened in the past with the father. His mother, the grandmother protected her son and kept this secret hidden for the outside world. In one or another way this secret was transferred to her daughter-in-law. The father cannot own this trauma and even in the constellation is unable to look at it, accept it, process it.

His son has to take it and he needs to acknowledge and accept that life comes from his father and from his mother with all that belongs to it.

 

 

CONCLUSION  

We have amazing intelligent physical bodies, they are our most intimate partners in this life. When there is a physical problem a constellation can reveal its ancestral consciousness with its underlying beliefs and constructs.

Ancestral consciousness in this constellation is a secret, which creates a distortion in the field. The need to protect somebody is very present in this constellation. The case giver mentions in the interview the urge to protect his mother, in the constellation there is a huge need for protection from the grandmother towards her son and from the mother towards her son.

It is important for the case giver to bring all the representatives into his inner being. The constellation is a mirror, a reflection of what happens inside. The secret, entanglement, construct or pattern from the past only serves to teach the self.

The back pain can heal when time is ready and the teachings are integrated.

 

You can read more about the family and system constellations work of Lia Verrees on her facebook page: Reinventing the Art of Constellations.

I look forward to your comments.

Warm regards

Veerle

Images_14VEERLE DE BOCK is a social entrepreneur, a change-maker, physician, healer, facilitator, trainer, coach and author of the trilogy, Becoming What is Changing. She spent nearly three decades of her life as a physician specializing in geriatric care, including a 21-year career as department head in an Antwerp regional hospital. In 2003, she began her study as an energetic healer, teacher, process facilitator and supervisor at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing, and since 2007 has been leading many other trainees to master these same skills. In 2010 she was trained in the practice of Dynamic Facilitation by Jim Rough, which she now incorporates into her workshops and training sessions. In 2012 she decided to devote her work exclusively to writing, facilitation and coaching. That same year, she devised a new integrative practice of facilitation she calls ‘Guest House Facilitation’, that helps teams learn how to listen and utilise both the inner and outer processes within their organisation, to see it as a dynamic and living organism, and to reconnect to its intrinsic purpose and intention. Her book, Becoming What is Changing: Exposition, is the first part of a trilogy aimed at managers, team leaders and responsible employees who wish to bring this kind of transformation into the workplace, so they can create an environment where people are happy, satisfied and continuously growing. She is the initiator of a Teal Organization: A Mystery School for Life.

 

http://www.chancestochange.com

http://twitter.com/GuestHouseHost

http://facebook.com/BecomingWhatIsChanging

 

Aspects of life

The fascinating gift of biological relationships

This amazing mix of spiritual and biological relationships is astonishing and is a huge opportunity to grow and transform, to understand yourself and others.

 

IMG_0461We are on a family vacation, my husband and me and our four adults children. What an amazing adventure and such a great gift to see each other, to observe, to witness, to be curious.

 

Here are some amazing perspectives

  • Our biological and spiritual relationships affect each other.
  • Life is a stage where all of us take different roles.
  • We can sit on the first row and observe our patterns.

 

Biological and spiritual relationships

We choose our family relationships, we incarnate together with a bunch of souls with whom we made arrangements long before we actually live our lives in lesser or higher degrees of harmony. The truth is that harmonious relationships are not a “must” in order for us to grow and transform. In a family there are often as many spiritual relationships as there are biological ones. We know from a previous article how our ancestors matter, they also matter spiritually!

 

Life is a stage

We all take up different roles in the scenery of life. Life is a stage, the décor is what is happening around us and to us, we can choose in each moment which role we take on and so can everybody else around us.

You can create for each other new stages, where you try out different roles, where you allow different parts of your personality to be on stage. A real good agreement is not to take anything personal. And to understand that whatever touches you, hurts you, triggers you, has to do with you and what it does with the other is not really your business.

 

Observe your patterns

It is an ideal opportunity to be at the first rows of the stage where you play out your patterns and well-known acts. You can decide if they still suit you or not. These patterns originated for a big deal in your childhood. Family constellations is an approach developed by Bert Hellinger and involves family representation through the use of others in order to reveal the hidden dynamics in a family so that they can be healed.

If you literally spend time again in the same constellation, if feels as if you are in a family constellation, the difference is that everybody plays his own role.

 

A story of our family vacation

We are returning to our cottage by bike after spending the day at the beach. It seems to take us much longer than expected. Everybody enjoyed the biking, except for my eldest daughter. She got upset and wondered if we were following the right direction. Her dad laughed and invited her to let her be surprised. I observed and learned a lot about myself, my daughter’s behaviour is very familiar to me. How do I let go of control and simply enjoy the moment?

 

 

CONCLUSION

Our family constellation, the fascinating mix of biological and spiritual relationships is awesome. We can gain insight in the dynamics with our mother and father, with our siblings.

As parents our children each mirror us parts of us. We are offered wonderful lessons about ourselves, simply by witnessing them and their way of being. Some aspects we can obviously recognize, others are more difficult for us to own.

We could agree to decide to stop trying to change the other, fix the other, analyse the other, care-take or merge with the other. See our children as adults and amazing fascinating spiritual beings. They might have been our teachers, mother, father, king, queen in a previous life.

See our parents as the bigger spiritual beings, which they are, applaud their accomplishments and accept their struggles.

 

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With warm regards

Veerle

GHF V in action 1VEERLE DE BOCK is a social entrepreneur, a change-maker, physician, healer, facilitator, trainer, coach and author of the trilogy, Becoming What is Changing. She spent nearly three decades of her life as a physician specializing in geriatric care, including a 21-year career as department head in an Antwerp regional hospital. In 2003, she began her study as an energetic healer, teacher, process facilitator and supervisor at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing, and since 2007 has been leading many other trainees to master these same skills. In 2010 she was trained in the practice of Dynamic Facilitation by Jim Rough, which she now incorporates into her workshops and training sessions. In 2012 she decided to devote her work exclusively to writing, facilitation and coaching. That same year, she devised a new integrative practice of facilitation she calls ‘Guest House Facilitation’, that helps teams learn how to listen and utilise both the inner and outer processes within their organisation, to see it as a dynamic and living organism, and to reconnect to its intrinsic purpose and intention. Her book, Becoming What is Changing: Exposition, is the first part of a trilogy aimed at managers, team leaders and responsible employees who wish to bring this kind of transformation into the workplace, so they can create an environment where people are happy, satisfied and continuously growing.

 

http://www.chancestochange.com

http://twitter.com/GuestHouseHost

http://facebook.com/BecomingWhatIsChanging