A Constellation Reallocates Normal Human Needs. It is normal and human to have needs. Growth is learning to own our needs and find appropriate strategies to meet them. This process releases our inner child from a huge burden. This is the question of a courageous articulate young woman, ready to bring her unique bright essence and purpose into the world. How can I have a relationship and not loose my self? She explains: “It seems that often in a relationship a younger part of me occupies the stage of my life and requires a great deal of attention.” These are the steps in our constellation: Painting the scenery. Bringing consciousness into the entanglement What do we need to bring in? Completing the constellation Painting the scenery The case giver decides to set up representatives for her self, her mother, her father and her young self. When she places the representatives in the space, she sees how a triangle is formed between the father, self and young self. Mother is not included. You can see the first scenes on the cartoon. Bringing consciousness into the entanglement When the facilitator asks the father to face his wife. He faces his daughter. This shows how a switching of roles happened. When the facilitator shares this observation with the case giver, it becomes apparent that this situation feels comfortable for her, she does not intend to exchange her place with her mother. The cartoon shows the next phases: The parents are in a conflict relationship and from that place both reach out to their daughter to get their needs met. Young self wants to escape the scenery, things shift when she is held in the triangle. We arrive back at our start point. We need something else. What do we need to bring in? If we bring the focus on what self wants, this can change the entanglement. We bring in the consciousness of a passionate job. This is the point in the constellation where you bring in order. Self cannot trust her passion, a job she really wants to do unless she gets out of the entanglement. Self is invited to address her parents and acknowledge that she got life from her father and her mother and that she is willing to take it to the fullest, with all that comes with it. Completing the constellation The case giver takes her place in the constellation, in order to have an embodied experience. She needs to acknowledge her father and her mother and the place of her mother next to her father. This often creates resistance in a case giver. Even if a pattern is not healthy, we are used to is and it is scary to choose for the unknown. She connects with her young self and...Read More »
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