Chances to change

How can we make Conscious Choices?

There is an ongoing, never-ending weaving happening between our true self and all the aspects of our human self. This kaleidoscope creates our reality.

It is often so hard for us to make a conscious choice. What does that mean to make a conscious choice?

For those of you who have played the C2C game, you will already be familiar with the steps that take us through the game, and for those of you who have yet to play, we felt that including all the steps would perhaps be too much information and detract from the unfolding story.  When you have the opportunity to play with one of our facilitators, the rhythm of the game will become clearer.

This is the story of a woman – let’s call her Anna – who has trouble choosing whether to move to a new house with her partner or to stay where she has been living and loves to live.

She’s all too aware of these opposing sides within herself:  one side absolutely doesn’t want to move and is afraid of losing her ground if she does. She experiences the new house as too open, unable to protect her.  Anna feels she will be disconnected from her family and friends if she lives there as she sees herself as someone who doesn’t easily create new relationships. On the other side is a part of her that looks forward to having a new adventure and exploring a new environment – this part loves to have new experiences and is excited about life.

To help her understand these opposite sides of herself, Anna agreed to play the ChancesToChange board game.

Two aspects, two blue cards

Anna’s first insight into her reserved side was through the painting on the card of ‘being’. It spoke to her of being ungrounded and yet feeling completely safe and at home. Something very precious was being held in her hands.

On reading the card, Anna was struck by the realisation that what she, Anna, is protecting is her true self – “it’s precious and I care for it” she said. As she sat with this awareness and the question offered by the card, she also realised :  “I want to be seen and I don’t want to be seen – I have both sides.”

In her next card – the card of ‘relationships’ – representing her adventurous aspect, Anna had the impression of an outwards expanding form and an inwards contracting form, holding a tender place in the middle.

Reading the card, what touched her most was the importance in relationships to first care for her own self and from that place move out into relationship.

We imagine that many of you can relate to Anna’s dilemma.  Let’s take a moment to sit with what is unfolding here.

The magic of listening to our human self

Our human self is made up of aspects which are constantly changing through experiencing. In our story, Anna presented two aspects of her human self. They received a place on the board in all their beauty and complexity. They were seen and acknowledged.

Only through completely accepting the two aspects were they able to reveal themselves and be willing to listen to, and receive, the true self. Our true self is the totality of who we are and who we become and is in constant connection with source. Her true self speaks to Anna through the cards of Being and Relationships.

The first exchange happened through the paintings. Already magic was happening: Anna realised that she can be present and at the same time be ungrounded and how important it is to her to protect her true self as something precious almost new born.

At the beginning both aspects seemed opposite in their expression, even the blue cards chosen were on opposite positions on the board: one in the green where you move into relationship with yourself and the other in the orange where you move into relationship with others.

The texts on the blue cards already allow both aspects to connect and appear less oppositional – a mingling happens almost effortlessly. Both cards talk about choices and both cards talk about the true self. The first card brings in the responsibility for the choices you make and the second card points out how important it is to make choices independent of the choices of the other. Remember how our story started with the difficulties of Anna to make a choice. The first card defines being as our capacity to own and honour our true self. The second card explains how in relationship we express our true self. In our story, Anna protects her true self as something very precious.

What further unfolds

Anna’s next insights came from diving more deeply into more of her self through the game which invited her to form a ‘how can I” question. She asked:  “How can I tend to my true self and allow the flow of my life to happen?” This provoked an aha moment and she exclaimed: “When I bring my energy into my relationships, I am pioneering.”

These insights further anchored both aspects of her human self into their own essence and beauty. They are both seen and embraced which gives them the strength to allow. The action of allowing might be the key for our human self to engage with our true self.

It becomes clearer how we are playing with an ongoing exchange between the human self and the true self as pictured in the triad. We might also consider the possibility that the ‘I am’ actually is our player.

She was invited by the game to deeply connect with the intelligent design of the body. What opened to her was: “I am willing to share my true self in relationships with others and I also need my own relationship with my true self.”

As the game continued, Anna listened to her inner being, to source within. She heard: “My only support is being here now. No more planning, only following the flow.”  The game offered her the statement: “In the silence I intuitively understand the overarching direction of my life”.

It is fascinating to observe how the board game invites the facilitator and the player both to listen, even to listen to the different aspects of the human self and to the true self.

Her body’s wisdom brings an extra flavour to our meeting with both aspects of her human self and her difficulties in making a choice. We begin to see how both aspects are facets of the true self – they don’t have separate true selves as they’re both facets of the same true self, a true self that resides in the middle of our game, the area of silence. 

We have a clearer picture here of the weaving that has happened in the silence to ground everything that has unfolded so far with our connection to source. Through the connection with her true self she becomes more aware of the direction of her life as it weaves the beautiful tapestry of all of who she is, including the different aspects of her human self. Nothing is discarded, everything is valuable – all beautiful facets of who she is.


Let’s go back to where we started this article with the question:  How do we make choices?

The triad of the aspects of our human self, the facets of our true self and the ‘I am’ ( that is the player) make up our inner tapestry.  Our human self is the part of us that takes care of what we need and want and uses thinking to accomplish these tasks. Our true self knows and trusts that our needs, wants and desires will be met. The ‘I am’ is the director, the result of the interplay between the human self and the true self, closely related to our soul and our intention. Every human being is represented through this triad and is a work in progress.

Our article starts with presenting different aspects of a human self (that is Anna’s story and dilemma). These aspects are seemingly contradictory and make contradictory choices. It is clear that the ‘who’ within ourselves making the choice is important.

Our choices will determine what we experience and the choices made through any aspect of our human self mostly bring us back to our history. We learn through recycling our childhood stories. Bringing awareness to how we choose is the definition of a conscious choice. Awareness allows us to see how our choices colour our experiences and how we can have new experiences when we make different choices which are more in kin with our multifaceted true self.

The ChancesToChange board game assists us in bringing awareness to the amazing complexity of our human self and all its aspects. Most of all, it invites us to embrace our human self on this amazing journey that is called embodied realisation where we include all of us – our human self, our true self, our ‘I am’ and our soul.

Through playing with the ChancesToChange board game we listen with an open heart. We welcome all that is with loving kindness and complete acceptance. We learn to be deeply patient and to allow.

Veerle De Bock: Each day I add a bit more colour to the world, I colour within and outside of the lines as I take up different roles. My different roles are social entrepreneur, physician, coach, teacher, therapist and most of all facilitator of emerging possibilities (full bio)


Elaine Mc Googan: I am a traveller, healer and organiser of admin things. I trained at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing Europe over a period of 6 years.  I am passionate about supporting my healing clients, exploring what it means to be in community, as well as supporting this amazing board game.

Aspects of life

The fascinating gift of biological relationships

This amazing mix of spiritual and biological relationships is astonishing and is a huge opportunity to grow and transform, to understand yourself and others.


IMG_0461We are on a family vacation, my husband and me and our four adults children. What an amazing adventure and such a great gift to see each other, to observe, to witness, to be curious.


Here are some amazing perspectives

  • Our biological and spiritual relationships affect each other.
  • Life is a stage where all of us take different roles.
  • We can sit on the first row and observe our patterns.


Biological and spiritual relationships

We choose our family relationships, we incarnate together with a bunch of souls with whom we made arrangements long before we actually live our lives in lesser or higher degrees of harmony. The truth is that harmonious relationships are not a “must” in order for us to grow and transform. In a family there are often as many spiritual relationships as there are biological ones. We know from a previous article how our ancestors matter, they also matter spiritually!


Life is a stage

We all take up different roles in the scenery of life. Life is a stage, the décor is what is happening around us and to us, we can choose in each moment which role we take on and so can everybody else around us.

You can create for each other new stages, where you try out different roles, where you allow different parts of your personality to be on stage. A real good agreement is not to take anything personal. And to understand that whatever touches you, hurts you, triggers you, has to do with you and what it does with the other is not really your business.


Observe your patterns

It is an ideal opportunity to be at the first rows of the stage where you play out your patterns and well-known acts. You can decide if they still suit you or not. These patterns originated for a big deal in your childhood. Family constellations is an approach developed by Bert Hellinger and involves family representation through the use of others in order to reveal the hidden dynamics in a family so that they can be healed.

If you literally spend time again in the same constellation, if feels as if you are in a family constellation, the difference is that everybody plays his own role.


A story of our family vacation

We are returning to our cottage by bike after spending the day at the beach. It seems to take us much longer than expected. Everybody enjoyed the biking, except for my eldest daughter. She got upset and wondered if we were following the right direction. Her dad laughed and invited her to let her be surprised. I observed and learned a lot about myself, my daughter’s behaviour is very familiar to me. How do I let go of control and simply enjoy the moment?




Our family constellation, the fascinating mix of biological and spiritual relationships is awesome. We can gain insight in the dynamics with our mother and father, with our siblings.

As parents our children each mirror us parts of us. We are offered wonderful lessons about ourselves, simply by witnessing them and their way of being. Some aspects we can obviously recognize, others are more difficult for us to own.

We could agree to decide to stop trying to change the other, fix the other, analyse the other, care-take or merge with the other. See our children as adults and amazing fascinating spiritual beings. They might have been our teachers, mother, father, king, queen in a previous life.

See our parents as the bigger spiritual beings, which they are, applaud their accomplishments and accept their struggles.


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With warm regards


GHF V in action 1VEERLE DE BOCK is a social entrepreneur, a change-maker, physician, healer, facilitator, trainer, coach and author of the trilogy, Becoming What is Changing. She spent nearly three decades of her life as a physician specializing in geriatric care, including a 21-year career as department head in an Antwerp regional hospital. In 2003, she began her study as an energetic healer, teacher, process facilitator and supervisor at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing, and since 2007 has been leading many other trainees to master these same skills. In 2010 she was trained in the practice of Dynamic Facilitation by Jim Rough, which she now incorporates into her workshops and training sessions. In 2012 she decided to devote her work exclusively to writing, facilitation and coaching. That same year, she devised a new integrative practice of facilitation she calls ‘Guest House Facilitation’, that helps teams learn how to listen and utilise both the inner and outer processes within their organisation, to see it as a dynamic and living organism, and to reconnect to its intrinsic purpose and intention. Her book, Becoming What is Changing: Exposition, is the first part of a trilogy aimed at managers, team leaders and responsible employees who wish to bring this kind of transformation into the workplace, so they can create an environment where people are happy, satisfied and continuously growing.