This amazing mix of spiritual and biological relationships is astonishing and is a huge opportunity to grow and transform, to understand yourself and others.
We are on a family vacation, my husband and me and our four adults children. What an amazing adventure and such a great gift to see each other, to observe, to witness, to be curious.
Here are some amazing perspectives
- Our biological and spiritual relationships affect each other.
- Life is a stage where all of us take different roles.
- We can sit on the first row and observe our patterns.
Biological and spiritual relationships
We choose our family relationships, we incarnate together with a bunch of souls with whom we made arrangements long before we actually live our lives in lesser or higher degrees of harmony. The truth is that harmonious relationships are not a “must” in order for us to grow and transform. In a family there are often as many spiritual relationships as there are biological ones. We know from a previous article how our ancestors matter, they also matter spiritually!
Life is a stage
We all take up different roles in the scenery of life. Life is a stage, the décor is what is happening around us and to us, we can choose in each moment which role we take on and so can everybody else around us.
You can create for each other new stages, where you try out different roles, where you allow different parts of your personality to be on stage. A real good agreement is not to take anything personal. And to understand that whatever touches you, hurts you, triggers you, has to do with you and what it does with the other is not really your business.
Observe your patterns
It is an ideal opportunity to be at the first rows of the stage where you play out your patterns and well-known acts. You can decide if they still suit you or not. These patterns originated for a big deal in your childhood. Family constellations is an approach developed by Bert Hellinger and involves family representation through the use of others in order to reveal the hidden dynamics in a family so that they can be healed.
If you literally spend time again in the same constellation, if feels as if you are in a family constellation, the difference is that everybody plays his own role.
A story of our family vacation
We are returning to our cottage by bike after spending the day at the beach. It seems to take us much longer than expected. Everybody enjoyed the biking, except for my eldest daughter. She got upset and wondered if we were following the right direction. Her dad laughed and invited her to let her be surprised. I observed and learned a lot about myself, my daughter’s behaviour is very familiar to me. How do I let go of control and simply enjoy the moment?
Our family constellation, the fascinating mix of biological and spiritual relationships is awesome. We can gain insight in the dynamics with our mother and father, with our siblings.
As parents our children each mirror us parts of us. We are offered wonderful lessons about ourselves, simply by witnessing them and their way of being. Some aspects we can obviously recognize, others are more difficult for us to own.
We could agree to decide to stop trying to change the other, fix the other, analyse the other, care-take or merge with the other. See our children as adults and amazing fascinating spiritual beings. They might have been our teachers, mother, father, king, queen in a previous life.
See our parents as the bigger spiritual beings, which they are, applaud their accomplishments and accept their struggles.
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With warm regards
VEERLE DE BOCK is a social entrepreneur, a change-maker, physician, healer, facilitator, trainer, coach and author of the trilogy, Becoming What is Changing. She spent nearly three decades of her life as a physician specializing in geriatric care, including a 21-year career as department head in an Antwerp regional hospital. In 2003, she began her study as an energetic healer, teacher, process facilitator and supervisor at the Barbara Brennan School of Healing, and since 2007 has been leading many other trainees to master these same skills. In 2010 she was trained in the practice of Dynamic Facilitation by Jim Rough, which she now incorporates into her workshops and training sessions. In 2012 she decided to devote her work exclusively to writing, facilitation and coaching. That same year, she devised a new integrative practice of facilitation she calls ‘Guest House Facilitation’, that helps teams learn how to listen and utilise both the inner and outer processes within their organisation, to see it as a dynamic and living organism, and to reconnect to its intrinsic purpose and intention. Her book, Becoming What is Changing: Exposition, is the first part of a trilogy aimed at managers, team leaders and responsible employees who wish to bring this kind of transformation into the workplace, so they can create an environment where people are happy, satisfied and continuously growing.